Let’s talk goal setting for 2021.
(Note that I’m not mentioning “resolutions”. Resolving to do something is not the same as setting a goal to achieve something and taking action towards that achievement.)
I think this picture pretty much sums up how most of us feel about 2020. We’ve survived it. We’ve sat with it. And we’ve parsed through all of the dust it kicked up, examined it, and now we are ready to persevere.
I’ve started to think about my goals for 2021. I will continue this process throughout the month of January. I believe humans should do a better job of moving with the seasons. Here in the northern hemisphere, January is one of the most dormant times of the year. Nothing is growing or expanding; things are resting and replenishing. Daylight is shortened, encouraging more rest and sleep, lulling us into a dream-like state.
So instead of fighting this and insisting upon having a vision board complete and goals chiseled in stone by New Year’s Day, my goal setting for 2021 will be more of an iterative process while I “dream” my way through January and get clear on what I want to produce throughout the year.
I’m thinking a lot about how I want to feel instead of focusing on what I want. Focusing on the tangible “what” sends you down a rabbit hole of trying to figure out how to get it, and do you know something? Every year I just end up repeating the same tactics and techniques as the previous year, but going harder. If I worked out a lot the previous year but still don’t feel healthy, I will exercise harder or more often. If I did a good job with my savings goals one year but still don’t feel financially secure, I just keep saving to have a higher number in my investment account. Or if I applied the Konmari method to my whole house one year but still don’t feel organized, I’ll pare down my belongings even more. You get the idea.
In each of these scenarios, I’m doing more of the same thing to chase a feeling I thought I would have by doing all of the things I already had been doing. The “what” was achieved, but the feeling wasn’t.
How do you get to the core of what you want to feel? The simplest way for me was to return to the practice of journaling. Each day I write down five things that I’m grateful for, and five things that I desire. Not that I want, but that I desire. Words mean junk, as they say. Try substituting “desire” for “want” and say something out loud. For example, instead of “I want to be wealthy”, try saying, “I desire wealth”. Note the difference in how it makes you feel. The state of wanting implies lack and scarcity. But to desire something comes from somewhere deeper and more emotional. It feels so much better to work toward achieving your desires.
A few themes rose to the surface when I was journaling about what I most desire to feel in 2021:
Nothing all that earth-shattering, really. And yet when I looked hard at what I spent 2020 putting my energy toward, most of what I was doing was destined to take me in the opposite direction of where I apparently desired to go.
So as the year comes to an end, I’ve been dreaming up actions, habits, and small disciplines that will align me better with these desires.
I’m not saying you should set goals that are so easy to knockout that you’re done for the year by March. But be careful not to bury yourself with so many that you lose sight of what you’re working toward in the first place. Pick what’s most important, and what you can build upon, and start there.
And remember: Don’t worry so much about what the end result will look like. Focus instead on what you’re feeling, and how you want to feel, and take the actions that help you consistently feel the way that you want. If you’re doing that, you can’t go wrong. Listen to your inner monologue, and really take note of how you’re feeling from one moment to the next. This will help you become more aware of where you currently are, and get a better idea of how far you are from where you most desire to be.
Reading Time: 7 minutes This post contains affiliate links. If you use the links to make a purchase, I may receive a small commission, at no additional cost to
Reading Time: 7 minutes This post contains affiliate links. If you use the links to make a purchase, I may receive a small commission, at no additional cost to
Reading Time: 7 minutes I learned a big lesson in chronic stress and slowing down last week. I talked in my last post about acknowledging my chronic stress as
